Navigating Love, Loss, and New Beginnings

There’s a particular kind of quiet that follows a hard decision. Not the peaceful kind — the other kind. The kind that sits in your chest like something half-finished, waiting for you to figure out what comes next.

I’ve been living in that quiet for a little while now. And I’ve decided the best thing I can do with it is write.

So here we go.

On Love, Loss, and Knowing When to Walk Away

I want to start with the harder part, because pretending it isn’t there would be dishonest — and if you’ve read even a word of this blog, you know I don’t do dishonest.

I’m single again.

I made that choice. I want to say that clearly, not because it softens the blow (it doesn’t), but because owning it matters. I chose to end a relationship with a man I loved deeply — and I mean deeply, in that bone-level way that catches you off guard at your age, when you thought you had yourself pretty well figured out.

He was also one of my dear friends for ten years.

It would have been a beautiful story, except for the parts that weren’t. There were entanglements with his ex-wife — complicated, ongoing, and consequential — that he didn’t disclose before things shifted into something more than friendship. He gave me the truth in small pieces, one careful bit at a time, which is its own kind of manipulation, whether intentional or not. By the time I had the full picture, I was completely under his spell. I was already in love.

And so I had to make the hardest call: walk away from someone I loved because the relationship — in all its real and complicated beauty and fullness — did not serve me. Would never serve me. Could not, as long as those entanglements remained. And, she is “dug in” and isn’t going anywhere…guaranteed!

Leaving was the saddest thing I’ve ever done. Not because I didn’t know it was right — I did, I do — but because it cost me more than just a romance. It cost me a friendship I treasured for a decade, and that friendship cannot be restored. Trust, once broken that thoroughly, doesn’t come back. It just leaves a shaped space where something good used to be.

I let myself feel all of that. I’m still feeling it.

And then I got up.

Because here’s what I know after all these years of roaming: grief is real and necessary, but it is not the destination. I will be fine. I have always been fine, even in the seasons that didn’t look like it from the outside. I will love again — fiercely, foolishly, hopefully — even if it happens five minutes before I drop dead. That’s not denial. That’s faith. And I’ve earned every ounce of it.

The sun has set

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On Flying Solo — and the Beautiful Business of It

Now for the part that’s been making me wake up early in the morning with a brain on fire.

I have news.

After six years of doing good work for other people — and I mean it, genuinely good work, work I’m proud of — I’ve decided to fly solo again. Or rather, solo-ish. Because I’ve learned that the best adventures, in life and in business, are better when you bring good people along.

I am launching a small tour company. You may have already guessed the name.

Free and Roaming.

Yes — this blog, this community, this little corner of the internet where we’ve been talking about independence and adventure and the audacity of still wanting more out of life — it’s becoming something bigger. My collaborators in this venture are people I trust, and together we are building something I’m genuinely excited about: small, curated, thoughtfully designed tours for the discerning traveler.

Not the kind where you’re shuffled through forty attractions in four days with a laminated name tag around your neck.

The kind where you experience the destination. Where the itinerary has been built with care and curiosity and a real understanding of what it feels like to have a little expendable income, a lot of wanderlust, and a deep desire to actually immerse yourself in a culture rather than just photograph it.

We’re talking small groups. Beautiful locales. Travel that feels intentional and personal and a little bit like a gift you give yourself.

More details — routes, dates, how to get on the list — are coming soon. But I wanted you to know. I wanted the people who have been reading these words and nodding along to be the first to hear it.

On Change, as it is…the Whole Point

Here’s what I’ve come to understand about this particular season of my life: the heartbreak and the business launch are not separate stories. They’re the same story.

They’re both about deciding, once again, that I am not finished. That I am not too old or too tired or too scarred to build something new. That I can hold loss and possibility in the same two hands and keep moving forward anyway.

I believe in love. I still do, stubbornly, cheerfully, without apology. I think the right relationship finds you when you’re busy living your actual life — not waiting for it, not arranging yourself around someone else’s comfort, but out in the world, doing the things that light you up. And what lights me up is travel, always has, always will. Movement. Curiosity. The moment you arrive somewhere and everything feels slightly unfamiliar and completely alive.

So that’s where I’ll be. Planning and escorting tours. Writing about it. Showing up for the life I want, with my whole heart, while leaving the door open for whatever — or whoever — wants to join me on the journey.

Adventure doesn’t expire. Curiosity keeps us young. And resilience? Resilience is just love in work clothes.

Come along for the ride.

Yours in faith and fun, and still blessed to be…

Free and Roaming

I’ll be fine!

“I’ll be fine.”

It’s my reflex. My shield. My exit line.

Whenever someone asks if I need help, that’s what comes out of my mouth—quick, practiced, convincing. Sometimes I even add, “I always am,” just to close the door neatly.

Here’s the truth: I’m not always fine. I’m just very good at appearing that way.

For a long time, “I’ll be fine” meant please don’t look too closely. It meant I don’t want to be a burden. It meant I’ve handled everything on my own before, so why stop now?

Many women my age know this line by heart. Especially those of us who are single, widowed, divorced, or emotionally alone even when surrounded by people. We learned early how to be capable. How to manage. How to endure. Somewhere along the way, independence stopped being empowering and quietly became armor.

And armor is heavy.

The Cost of Always Being Fine

When you say “I’ll be fine” long enough, people stop asking. Not because they don’t care—but because you’ve trained them to believe you’ve got it handled.

Inside, though, you might be tired. Or lonely. Or quietly wishing someone would insist, just once.

I used to believe needing help meant I had failed at something. Failed at strength. Failed at adulthood. Failed at being the woman I was supposed to be.

But that belief kept me isolated. Strong, yes—but sealed off.

What I’m Learning Instead

I’m learning that accepting help is not weakness. It’s honesty.

I’m learning that letting someone see inside me doesn’t make me fragile—it makes me real.

Most importantly, I’m learning that I am worthy of care even when I’m not at my best. Even when I don’t have a plan. Even when I don’t know how I’ll get through the next thing.

Some of this learning came from an unexpected place.

I met someone recently—someone who has known me for nearly ten years. We’ve crossed paths, shared history, known the outlines of each other’s lives. But during all that time, I was armored. Capable. Fine.

Recently, he caught a glimpse of my softer self—the part of me I rarely let out. Instead of turning away, he leaned in. He asked me to soften. To show that part of me more.

And then he said something that stopped me cold.

He said he found it attractive.

Not my competence. Not my resilience. My softness.

It dawned on me that for all those years, he hadn’t seen me as a viable mate—not because I wasn’t worthy, but because I hadn’t allowed myself to be seen. Armor may protect you, but it also hides you.

This didn’t happen overnight. It happened in small, uncomfortable moments—pausing before saying “I’ll be fine,” and instead saying, “Actually, this is hard.” Or, “I could use company.” Or simply, “Thank you.”

Those words felt foreign at first. Vulnerable. Risky.

They still do.

For the Woman Who Feels Alone

If you’re reading this and thinking, She’s talking about me, I want you to hear this clearly:

You don’t have to earn love by being unbreakable.

You don’t have to prove your worth by doing everything alone.

And you don’t have to be fine to be deserving of kindness.

Strength isn’t disappearing into yourself. Strength is allowing connection. Even when it’s awkward. Even when you’re scared of being seen.

A Different Ending

I still say “I’ll be fine” sometimes. Old habits die slowly.

But more often now, I’m learning to say something truer.

“I’m figuring it out.”

“I’m open.”

“I’m worthy of love.”

And here’s the quiet miracle: when you let yourself receive—really receive—you discover you were never meant to do this life alone.

Not at 25.

Not at 50.

Not ever.

You don’t have to be fine.

You just have to be willing.

Yours in faith and fun, and still blessed to be…

Free and Roaming

The Tuesday Girl

Tuesdays Are for Me: Chronicles of the Midweek Girlfriend

At 59, I’ve re-entered the dating pool (again) —and let me tell you, the water is lukewarm, a little murky, and there might be something floating in it.

Still, I persist.

What I’ve come to realize is that while I’d like to be…I am not the Weekend Woman. No, those coveted Friday-to-Sunday slots are clearly reserved for women who have—how shall I put this?—secured their position through performance-based loyalty.

Weekends, I’ve come to suspect, are for the women they’re already sleeping with. The ones who have “earned” that premium calendar real estate by crossing, or uncrossing, a threshold I, apparently, have not.

I, my friends, am a Tuesday Woman.

For six months, I dated a man—handsome, wealthy, incredibly charming. Think bald Clooney vibes, retired and an actual Mercedes. We had great conversations, laughter, huge chemistry, connection… on Tuesdays. Maybe a Thursday if he was “free.” But never—not once—Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

One night, over dinner (Tuesday, obviously), he dropped this gem: “Dating apps are like a slot machine. Every time I open it up—boom! Another desperate, attractive woman appears. It’s addictive.”

He said this with a straight face, in between bites of ahi tuna, like he was describing his morning Wordle habit.

And here’s the kicker: I’m not desperate. I’m not struggling. I’m high-value. I’m attractive, thin, smart, emotionally available (with occasional sarcasm), and I have my own income, my own home, and my own plane ticket. I didn’t sleep with him, not because I’m prudish, but because I wanted to be sure.

Apparently, Tuesday is the testing ground. It’s where they date the “possibilities”, the maybes, the intriguing women who have the nerve to set boundaries. And weekends? That’s for the women who’ve already said yes, who’ve locked in their slot on the calendar and in the bedroom.

It’s like a weird Hunger Games of attention and availability. Only instead of arrows and dystopian jumpsuits, we’re navigating “seen at 4:32 PM” text receipts and second-tier date nights at mid-tier Italian restaurants.

But here’s the twist: I like Tuesdays. Tuesdays are honest. They’re quiet enough to hear the truth, and calm enough to see someone clearly. I’ll keep showing up, mascara on and heart open—not because I need to, but because I want to. Because the right man, the one who sees me for the amazing, self-sufficient, whip-smart woman I am, won’t need a calendar to decide I’m worth his weekend.

So no, I’m not giving up. I’m still dating. I’m still hopeful. And guess what?

I’ve got a date this week.
It’s on Tuesday.

Of course.

Yours in faith and fun, and still blessed to be…

Free and Roaming