Living on the Road – Part 2

So, I pulled the trigger, moved out of the house, moved everything to storage and I feel…nothing.  Realizing I am so disconnected with “place” is a strange feeling as if I was meant to live as a vagabond (great!  more therapy).  I thought I would miss the sweet house in Boerne but I do not.  It was easy and it feels natural and this is how it started.

I closed the door to the storage room on a Thursday afternoon.  It was much larger than I wanted but time constraints and advise from those who care said don’t stress over it.  I wanted so badly to minimize but found myself still connected to some “stuff”.  I tried selling a bunch of stuff on the garage sale sites but twenty meet ups and less than $200 later I realized it was not worth it.  I hauled truck loads of stuff to the battered women’s shelter.  A much better choice for me.

I flew out that Friday morning for my home away from home Placencia, Belize.  I spent a few days reading in my hammock decompressing from work and moving.  Good friend Valerie met me a few days later and we did a lot of nothing!  We pretty much sat right on this beautiful little porch at the Tradewinds Hotel, drank beer, laughed and went swimming when we got too hot.  We did eat at a few of my favorite spots.  Mojo Lounge and Bartique is my new fav!  Click here to check out Mojo.

water-view-from-cabana
Waves lapping so close to our porch!

Back to work via Houston where I was met by bestie Anne and family.  I immediately realized that I have over-packed pretty dramatically.  I “moved into” a summer suitcase (medium-sized roller) and a winter suitcase (very large roller) and sent the winter suitcase with Anne when she came to help me move.  While in Belize I donned less than half what I brought.  Now in my Houston hotel room with everyone waiting I have to make some quick decisions about what to keep and what to pack up and send with Anne.  It was ridiculous and I made some poor decisions.  Not life changing poor decisions, just poor wardrobe decisions.  The best decision I made was to pack my back scratcher!  Out of all the things I have with me that is my most practical.

At work I wear an unflattering uniform so now I have a seventy-six pound suitcase and a carry on that include no uniforms (I am fortunate to be able to leave my work clothes on-board).  Since I am always in uniform on the boat I begin again to feel ridiculous about all of this crap I am carrying around with me.  My inner minimalist is begging to be freed…maybe I should check my suitcase.

All-in-all it is going well.  People think I am a little crazy but most of them envious.  No mortgage, little debt (only the new property in Boerne which will be paid off next year), and few ties to anything or anyone.  I remain vigilant in the work that I love, in prayer, and in trying to take care of myself physically and mentally.

I am now in Michigan in my cousin’s beautiful little cottage.  The fall colors are starting to pop and the weather is perfect.  I have a full winter wardrobe to choose from and have worn less than a third of it.  Downsizing again!  Sending home clothing in a box to my awesome sister who is handling my affairs while I remain voluntary homeless.  She is the rock on which all of this pivots.  Without Sally, none of this works.

There it is dear readers.  God is working in my life in many ways.  I ask that you hold me up in prayer as I do you.  I ask God for the grace to make the right decisions, for the strength to live right, and for my heart to be open again to love.  Blessings to all of you for a happy and healthy season.

 

Lost on the trail. Thunderstorm approaching.
Colors of Fall

Living on the Road – Part One

I may very well separate these Living on the Road posts with other things to write about.  Just now I am determined and passionate about beginning life without a home base.  It is a risk I did not think I would under take at 50.  I have always been disconnected with “place”, roaming around never wanting to be still.  At a young age, perhaps thirty, I decided to embrace this part of myself.  Rather than thinking about it as irresponsible or unsettled I starting thinking of myself as an adventurer, a wanderer, a responsible nomad.  I’m not scared of much and it suits me not to put down roots.

Recently, most of you know, I was violently uprooted.  Having shallow roots anyway I am recovering quite quickly.  Now I have the opportunity through my job and new lifestyle to pick up and change everything.  I am pushing myself into a five by ten storage unit and it means getting rid of a lot of things.  I sold my crock-pot, pressure cooker, all of my dishes, my saddle that I love, furniture with which I thought I would never part.  Pairing down is difficult kind of like losing weight.  You constantly deny yourself things until it feels natural not to be weighted down with objects, debt, or attachment to material items.  I am fortunate and worked hard not to have debt and very soon will write a check for the balance on my 2013 Ford F150 Crew Cab.  It is a nice vehicle with only fifty thousand miles.  Possibly I will sell it too but I am not quite willing to part with it yet.  I still have dreams of a trip cross country.

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In the woods near Petoskey, MI

My living on the road journey will begin in Petoskey, Michigan a place I fell in love with years ago.  I am fortunate to have cousins Timothy and Dianne that have been gracious to let me stay there many times.  It is a lovely cottage and I spent many days, afternoons and evenings enjoying the quiet lovely town.  It has so much to offer from high end dining at Chandler’s to yummy breakfast at my favorite spot in town Julienne Tomatoes.  I will spend the end of September and the first of October there this year before returning to the American Queen for my October shift.

Click here for information on my favorite American town!

Yummilicious! Click here for Julienne Tomatoes info

My favorite spot for super delicious food! Click here for Chandler’s

Next up…Mexico for Thanksgiving?  Nicaragua for the winter!

Sisters in Bay Harbor
Sisters Sally and Polly in Bay Harbor, MI 2010

Along Came Jim…

In any endeavor there are risks.  Each post I write is a risk.  A risk that somebody will be offended or will not appreciate my candor. But now, in life, it is a risk I must take because I need to write.  It is cathartic.

The Jim I am writing about is my boss.  When I met him via Skype I had an instant connection and I told him so.  I knew, absolutely knew, that I was supposed to work for him, that this would be my last job, and that I would do well.  I had and have never been so sure of something in my life.

Desperation looks good on no one.  I don’t know if I came across as desperate but he did not treat me that way.  What I have learned about Jim is that he is a mentor and a patient and kind man.  He is not soft or wishy-washy.  He is a strong, decisive and influential leader with a huge heart.  I don’t think he will ever know what he did for me (unless he reads my blog and honestly I have no idea).  By letting me earn this job he has helped me learn again that I am smart, I am capable, and that I can handle whatever life throws at me.  He taught me how to be me again.

I will make this a short one because I am on to more interesting and fun writings.  If he does read my blog I thank him openly and publicly from the bottom of my heart.  Mostly I thank God for bringing into my life Jim Palmeri, the American Queen Steamboat Company, and the group of strong, kind and brilliant people who make up Shore Excursions of America.  I am blessed beyond measure.

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Coming soon…

Another HUGE life change is a comin’.  I’m moving out of my home in Boerne and going to live “on the road”.  I have plans through the winter, which I will write about, so I am not flying by the seat of my pants.  I have a plan, and it’s big!  As of now I cannot find any information online about living out of two suitcases, what to do about clothing and what about creature comforts.  So here we go!  I will be documenting my planning, my travels and my life…free and roaming!

Thanks to all who read and to all who care.

 

God’s New Gift

One year ago on July 1st my life changed forever.  What I believed to be a happy comfortable situation crumbled in an instant.  Sam announced he needed “some time” and left in less than 5 minutes.  Turns out ex-girlfriend Laura was waiting in the wings.  She phoned him after filing for a divorce and the torrid affair began.

Text from my attorney…”I found a pending divorce: 2015ci-08630 with a court hearing on june 30th”

On June 30th while driving home from Mansfield where we attended Oliver’s celebration of life I had a panic attack of monumental proportion.  I could not calm myself and felt the unraveling from within.  My intuition which I had ignored for years coming to surface.  It was the day Laura called Sam.

She offered him things I could not.  New passion, new body, new voice, no history and no future.  With no regard for me and with Laura’s four children in the house they began their debauchery.  I was beside myself and started to build my defense.

But I had none, no way to fight, no money, nothing but myself to improve, so I did.  I did what I thought would make him come home.  I cleaned the entire house top to bottom, I cleaned out the garage, detailed the car, cleaned the chicken coops, learned how to use the big weed eater and it went on and on for days…weeks.  I lost 30 pounds from starving.  Food made me sick.  Periodically he would come to the house to torment me.  He would sit smugly in his chair and tell me he “respected” Laura and did not know if he would ever come home.  He said, “maybe we could go on a date”.  I held onto this for months.  Planning what to wear, how I would look, how I would rekindle his interest in me.  This went on for a few months.  I was pitiful.

I found an attorney that thought we could win in a divorce case and thought I would end up with a large settlement and perhaps the house.  His plan was to wear him down, to make his life miserable and to drag his family through the mud along with Laura.  Laura had used Benadryl to drug her children so that they would not wake.  That was just a little of the information I gathered.  I had a good case.  In the end I decided that I was not that person.  It was not in me to hurt everybody and frankly I did not have the strength to carry it out mentally or physically.  So we settled.

Sam’s business visa bill was $33,000 for the month of May 2015.  He offered me $1000 a month for 6 months.  He said he thought that generous as he genuinely believed he had no obligation to me what-so-ever and told me so regularly.  He told me several times that if I did not modify my behavior in some way, “you will get nothing”.  Then he cancelled my visa card.  The only thing I was purchasing on his visa was food.

There is so much more.  SO MUCH MORE that I will not write here.  I know his side of the story and much of it is true.  Narcissists never consider their own behavior when blaming others.  What killed me inside is that he did not think I was worth fighting for.  He did not think that I was worth anything.  So while this part of the story is another hundred pages long I will end with this…

Sam recently decided that he was not going to honor his financial responsibility to me even though it is a legal and binding agreement.  I have not yet decided what to do about this.  Because he browbeat me into accepting a pittance he only owes me $3000.  I think it is not worth it to fight.

But this story does not end here.  This story is about revelation and miracles and strength and God and God’s Love.  It started with a phone call.

Years ago I attended ITMI (International Tour Management Institute).  I had a strong feeling I should call them that Thursday afternoon and I followed my intuition.  At my weakest lowest point having had a major elective surgery, a cancer scare, and a skin cancer diagnosis I picked up that phone.  I left a voice mail and within just a few hours Ted Bravos returned my call and said, “Polly, we would love to have you back.”  This was the beginning of God’s new gift.

Ted told me that he had one slot left open for the year and it was the following Monday.  I said, “give me a few hours and I will let you know”.  This is when the gift began to unwrap.  I had just enough Southwest Airlines points for the ticket.  Ted offered me half price on the school since I had been a student.  Chris’ apartment in San Francisco available the entire time.  My surgeon said we could remove the drains in my body just 7 days after surgery and I was medically cleared for travel.  All the doors and windows were thrown wide and I packed for what would be the hardest few weeks of my life.

ITMI is not for the weak.  It is hard and barely manageable when you are sane and strong.  It totally prepares you for life on the road or in my case on a boat.  I cried all morning every morning and all night and in the bathroom between sessions.  I was weak and skinny and pale and broke but made it out the other side.  On one of our working trips a fellow ITMI graduate joined us.  Thank God for Kara.  She approached me, told me she had heard my story from somebody and she befriended me.  She said she had a friend, Valerie, that lived in Houston and had a cool job on a boat that she loved.  She said she would put me in touch if I would like.  I put on my big girl panties and called Valerie.  This was the beginning of my new life.  This was the call that would allow me to pay my bills, to live without fear, to feel strong and capable, to begin the healing process.

Next post…Along came Jim

 

 

Cold Beer and Cock Fights

Thanks to Sea G. Ryder for reminding me to post.  click here to visit freerangerodeo.com

It’s Sunday morning on Isla Contadora and I am finally a little bored.  I have seen every beach, eaten at every eatery, and had my fill of rum.  I remember I saw a blurb about how the archipelago got its name and decided I should make an effort to buy some pearls.  I inquired at the office of my B&B Casa del Sol and off I went to meet a man with gold teeth on the beach.

Somebody had warned me not to go on Sunday afternoon as it was the day to drink but the man I was meeting said it was not correct.  Off we go into the beautiful waters of the Archipelago de las Perlas!

One of my favorite things about being out in the open water is speed and the air blowing on my face and through my hair.  Well “Goldie” did not see it that way.  I agreed to pay him by the hour having general knowledge about how long it would take.  I had a vision of arriving to a quaint island and picking through the shops for an hour and finding  a few rare black pearls for me and my besties then zipping back to the home island with my finds.

I did not know a boat could go that slowly and stay afloat.  When I agreed to pay by the hour I should have agreed to an actual amount of hours.  So after a one hour boat ride that should have been 20 minutes we arrive.  The island is a wreck and I ask him if I can walk to the shops.  He just laughs.  There are thousands of shells lying about and my hopes are high.

He gets me as close as he can on the jagged beach and I walk on waiting for Goldie to join me.  My bubble is popped pretty much on arrival to this dirty and barren place.  Two rows of shacks are erected from scrap and there is literally nothing else in sight.  I am beginning to believe that the row of quaint shops is not here.

Come to find out this is Goldie’s home island.  He is related to everyone and I am not exaggerating.  He starts asking around to see if anyone has any pearls but they do not.  We walk along the dirty path and he asks all his uncles, aunts, cousins and brothers if they have a pearl to sell.  Finally at the end of the path there is a hut serving some food and a bar with loud music.  There are some strange apparatus that I do not recognize.

I decide it is in my best interest to buy beer for Goldie and a few relatives so I do.  I thought if this was my last beer at least it was freezing cold.  I did not feel safe.  Oh Lordy I have to pee!  I ask for a bathroom and am directed into a shack with a bucket.  It’s time to leave.

There is a ruckus and we head over to see what is going on.  The apparatuses are being used to weigh the roosters to begin the cock fights.  In Panama they breed the roosters with a crazy wild pheasant to make them meaner and more aggressive.  I told Goldie I was unwilling to stay for the big event and that if we had no pearls to buy that I am done here.  Finally one of his cousins comes up with a small black pearl which I purchase for thirty-five dollars.  And we are off.  Slowly we putt putt putt off into the distance back to civilization.

I am on my boat now and do not have the ability to post pictures of the black pearl which is tiny and misshapen.  When I say “my boat” of course I am talking about the four hundred passenger steamboat on which I live and work most of the year.  The American Queen is a perfect specimen of beauty and luxury.  Next post probably about living aboard an American Icon.

 

Part Tres: Panama, Boca Brava, Venao and Isla Contadora

My sister Sally joined me in Boquete and we braved bad weather together drinking rum and giggling on the beautiful patio and Hotel Central Boquete.  Looking forward to better weather we headed south to Boca Chica for a small boat transfer to Boca Brava.  This was a part of the month-long journey I looked forward to most and was I ever right!

View from the suite
Little Sally Big Tree
Great swimming spot

Lovely and charming but not for the faint of heart.  Hotel Boca Brava boasts a long narrow row of steps straight up to the stunning view.  Pack light, or like us, opt to leave your things at the bottom and incentivize one of the staff to retrieve your bags.  Little or sometimes no water and electric it is still completely manageable and in some cases enhanced our experience.  Great views, semi-cold (ice rations) beverages and awesome food were ours.   We settled into the big suite and headed out for a hike.  Beautiful swimable beaches, hilly trails, and lots of monkeys and other wild life.  I love this place. There are so many beautiful birds.  Don’t forget your bird identification book and decent binoculars.  More on Hotel Boca Brava

A small side note.  At this point in my adventure I get a call from work saying they need me to come to the boat.  I have not yet written much about my job but it is the reason I am afforded this lifestyle.  I love it and would happily and instantly leave any vacation to get back to it.  They were able to make other arrangement with another crew member.  I work aboard the American Queen and the American Empress.  Two stunning and luxurious river boats in these great United States.  More on that later.  Everybody wants my job.

Sally left me in David after three fun nights in Boca Brava.  I had a full day of travel ahead to get to Eco Venao.  Remember Planes, Trains, and Automobiles?  This was Boats, Busses and Taxis.  Eight hours later, starving and rattled I arrived Eco Venao.  This was “braving it” for me.  You see, I have been living a pampered lifestyle completely losing touch with my authentic self.  For thirteen years I had been sitting still, waiting for something to happen, stagnate, unhappy, frozen.  Now as I headed up this remote road I felt my soul reviving, starting to revel and I breathed it in.  I am returning to me and I am elated.

Surfers, skater dudes and socialites unite!  All accommodation options in one lovely spot.  That is what makes this place one of a kind in my mind.  I had amazing sessions with both Derek and Jade.  They are an amazing couple that run the Spa at Eco Venao.  They are both very gifted and Derek does amazing energy work.  Just what I needed.  Monkeys came for a close visit, spent lots of time reading in the hammock, restful sweet peaceful nights.  Relaxed and really not wanting to leave I headed out after 3 nights.

A relaxing intermodal day from Venao to Panama City’s Albrook Airport and a short flight to Isla Contadora was in the works.  Great little island if you love the beach and great food at Casa Tortuga (see map).  This restaurant is the gem on the island.  They offer pizza or the dish of the day.  I love everything about this restaurant.  I was longing for an adult beverage but could not make a decision.  The gentleman who I believe is the manager offered me a freezing cold glass of Prosecco.  It was perfect and delicious.I would go back to this island just to eat at Casa Tortuga. Casa Tortuga info and reviews

I once had a boss that said, “you can’t go to the store for a coke without something crazy happening”.  This has been true most of my life.  It is entirely possible that this is something I manifested.  When I was growing up I was constantly telling exaggerated stories and fantasies as fact.  It was my way of trying to make myself more interesting and popular as I was for the most part ignored at home.  I conjured up people, illness, talents and love that had no roots in reality.  It was a sad existence and probably the reason I have chosen to live a vagabond lifestyle…but again…I digress.  I cannot lie to my readers.  These digressions will be frequent as I have a story to tell that is just beginning to surface at age fifty.

I’m not sure about the next post topic yet.  For sure I will tell you about my trip to buy Pearls in the Archipelago de las Perlas.  Teaser…don’t go on Sunday.  Suggestions and questions welcome.  Thanks for reading!

 

Part 2: The Many Faces of Panama

When I left you we were heading out to Santa Fe.  My experience here was interesting on many levels.  Busses were easy breezy.  I found that if you have a small somewhat fancy London Fog suitcase and you look around with your mouth hanging open, somebody will shuffle you onto the correct bus.  The locals were extremely friendly and helpful.

Santa Fe is a small village.  The basics are available but they do not yet cater to tourists.  There are about 15 full time Gringos living there now.  The taxi drivers have caught on about getting more money from the Gringos but everything else (except real estate) has not yet been Gringoized.  An effective manner in which to deal with the busses and taxis is to give them a small amount of money that you believe will cover the fare then keep your hand out as if you are expecting change.  Most of the time the gave me my change and the times I was incorrect they asked for a few cents more.  Always negotiate taxi fares before you get in.

I love Santa Fe!  Few Gringos, very quiet, friendly locals, stunningly scenic, and you cannot walk 100 feet without falling into a beautiful swimming hole.  It is very hilly and would not accommodate the unfit.  The roads are not good and wash out in the rain.  The wildlife here seems undisturbed by progress so far.  Oranges and beautiful hardwood trees grow wild everywhere.

View from my Villa
Good Boy Ben!
Swimming buddy Jack

Progress is coming!  There is supposed to be a highway connecting the Pacific and the Caribbean in the next few years (in Panama 15 or 20 years).  There are developments developing.  They say it is the “Boquete of the future”.  I sincerely hope not.  Onto Boquete…

I was excited as my sister was meeting me in Boquete.  From the beginning of my research into Panama I wanted to go to Boquete.  I try to give information without much bias but in the case of Boquete it is just not possible.

Boquete is Gringo Central.  Everyone speaks English and some of the signs are in English. You can easily get a $5 latte and it has lots of crepe restaurants.   They have completely screwed up the idea of a local market by building this large ridiculous thing that resembles a storage unit place.  It has sliding garage type doors and concrete walls between the vendors.  I won’t go on about this but it sucks the life out of this thing we know as a market.

Don’t get me wrong.  We were not able to do much because of the horrible weather.  I am sure that had something to do with our not so great experience.  Also this is just not “my thing”.  Lot’s of people have only nice things to say about Boquete.  It is set in lovely surroundings.

So what to do…got out when the weather was ok, drank rum and sat on the nice patio of our overpriced hotel for 5 days then left for the beach!  This time we hired a taxi for $60 to drive us from Boquete to Boca Chica to catch the boat to Boca Brava.

 

Coming soon…Boca Brava, Venao and Isla Contadora.

Part One: The many faces of Panama

2015…what looked like the worst year of my life ended up a new beginning.

2016…begins with a new adventure.  Panama, one month, mostly on my own.

I woke with the flu for my 4:30 a.m. taxi.  This was nothing new.  I had been sick for 2 weeks since my trip to Palm Springs for business.  I was determined to go.  Nothing would stop me.  So I packed up my snot rags and got in the van.

Deciding previously that this trip would be a mix of hostels and luxury hotels I headed for the Hilton Garden Inn Panama City.  This was somewhere in the middle.  The bottom floor smelled of sewage and I had a view into the window of an apartment bedroom 3 feet away.  I returned to the front desk for a room re-assignment.  In bed for two more days I planned my adventure and worked on my Spanish via TV.  There is no application for Telenovela Spanish in normal activity.  Now, if I wanted to bitch-slap the ceviche chica bien dotada dramatically eyeballing mi Juan Pablo while yelling “Soy pregnate con trillizos” it might play…but I digress.

I did not have the opportunity to do all the things perhaps I should have in Panama City but I saw enough to know that it is large and diverse and for the most part safe.  If you will join me on another slight diversion…

People ask me when I travel alone to other countries, “do you feel safe”?  The short answer is yes because I’m not stupid.  The long and short…stupid people are not safe and smart ones are.  That is my entire statement on safety in Central America.

Here are the places I saw and the things I did.  There was nothing I did not enjoy.

Walk along the water front for good people watching and beautiful modern buildings. My only tip is to look for the pedestrian overpasses to avoid being smushed in the highway.

Casco Viejo and the fish market is wonderful for a morning walk (it is HOT in the afternoon).  Have ceviche and beer for ($4) breakfast and walk the entirety of Casco Viejo.  Beautiful old colonial architecture on the water.  Click here for map and more info!

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Parque Metropolitano is lovely.  Just try to say the name of this park without thinking of Janet Nepalitano (whom by the way I saw last year at the Santa Fe Opera in a neoprene truck and a horrible blue pantsuit).  A large and stunning park smack in the middle of Panama City can make you feel as if you are in the middle of nowhere.  Toucans, sloth and other wildlife easily seen.  Click here for directions and more information

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After Panama City I took the Metro to Albrook (the “other” airport) and boarded the bus to Santiago for a quick connection to Santa Fe.  More on the beautiful mountain region of Veraguas in the next post.  Santa Fe was my favorite place in Panama.  You will see why!  Hopefully up-to-date bus schedule info for Panama.

 

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